Friendships by Andrew McKee

Guest post by Andrew McKee

Well first of all, my condolences to those of you who are reading this since I’m about as good of a writer as Barney Fife was a singer (if you haven’t a clue as to what I’m watching about go watch the Andy Griffith episode ‘Barney and the Choir’). I really had (and probably still have) no idea as to what to write about. I thought about Obamacare (I’m a Canadian so not as opposed to the overall idea as many Americans), The Packers (I’m the confusing combination of both a Packer and Vikings fan but I doubt if any of you in WI are eager to hear more about the Packers at the present), hockey (the world’s greatest sport :P ), or a multitude of other topics. The one I settled on (at least I think I have) is friendship/s due to the fact that it’s a topic that most (if not all of us) can agree on and since it’s a topic I’ve been thinking about lately. My deepest sympathies once again to those of you who are still reading since I haven’t had much time to write this post as I would have liked but I digress.

Friendship

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” – Helen Keller

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” – Linda Grayson

“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."” C.S. Lewis

“A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.” – Markus Zusak

“Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don't have trust, the friendship will crumble.” –Stieg Larsson (I’d never heard of him before today and I certainly would disagree with most of his beliefs but I do like the quote)

What characteristics are crucial for friendship? I can only speak for myself but in my experience honesty, trust, caring, supportiveness and loyalty are some of the main ones that are crucial for a friendship.

The last thing I want (or plan) to do here is to lecture anyone on this topic but I’ll just give a few quick comments that are just my opinions but I will say that I am extremely grateful to have many friends with the characteristics that I listed above.

Honesty/Trust

Personally, I believe that this is the foundation of any friendship. If this quality is lacking in a relationship it is (at least for me) a very good sign that (unless the trust can be restored) these friendships are not worth having. Personally, I’ve faced several of these situations over the years (including at least one recently) and while it is certainly difficult to discover that former friends aren’t trustworthy it is better to realize it as such and make the necessary adjustments than to brush over it and pretend nothing is wrong (obviously the ideal situation is if the trust can be restored but unfortunately this does not always happen). Many people say that similar beliefs/lifestyles is the key to great friendships; while there is a point to this I personally have been blessed to have many wonderful friendships with people I disagree with on many topics (this isn’t the case with the author of this blog ;)) and have many different tastes with but in which we can have wonderful friendships due to honesty/trust in each other. I hope each of you have many such friendships as well. ☺

Caring/Supportiveness:

While this is more of a trait of a person than the foundation of a friendship it is certainly great for me (and I’m sure for you as well) to be able to have many caring friends that help and support us no matter the situation or the context (but especially through the hard times). None of us are perfect at this (or any of these traits/characteristics) but for me personally (and I’m sure in your case as well) I hope we can all strive (with God’s help) to be far better.

Last but not least: Loyalty

While all 3 of the qualities I’ve addressed in this post is a 2-way street this one is quite likely an outcome of a successful friendship that includes the previous 2 characteristics. I do not at all mean that we should strive for blind loyalty (which I personally fully admit I have been guilty of (especially in my younger days) with us siding with friends while purposely ignoring errors/situations that they have been wrong in but certainly loyalty (that comes with normal friendships) is a wonderful things and is completely appropriate.

Anyway, that is all I have. I hope and pray that I have not come across in a condemning way but I just wanted to share some of my thoughts on a few characteristics of friendships. Personally, I have been (and perhaps still am) far from perfect when it comes to my friendships (and doing what I can to remain a great (while not blind) friend. This is of course an extremely broad topic but I hope some of my thoughts have been able to help some of you. May God bless you all.