Friendships by Andrew McKee

Guest post by Andrew McKee

Well first of all, my condolences to those of you who are reading this since I’m about as good of a writer as Barney Fife was a singer (if you haven’t a clue as to what I’m watching about go watch the Andy Griffith episode ‘Barney and the Choir’). I really had (and probably still have) no idea as to what to write about. I thought about Obamacare (I’m a Canadian so not as opposed to the overall idea as many Americans), The Packers (I’m the confusing combination of both a Packer and Vikings fan but I doubt if any of you in WI are eager to hear more about the Packers at the present), hockey (the world’s greatest sport :P ), or a multitude of other topics. The one I settled on (at least I think I have) is friendship/s due to the fact that it’s a topic that most (if not all of us) can agree on and since it’s a topic I’ve been thinking about lately. My deepest sympathies once again to those of you who are still reading since I haven’t had much time to write this post as I would have liked but I digress.

Friendship

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.” – Helen Keller

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.” – Linda Grayson

“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."” C.S. Lewis

“A snowball in the face is surely the perfect beginning to a lasting friendship.” – Markus Zusak

“Friendship- my definition- is built on two things. Respect and trust. Both elements have to be there. And it has to be mutual. You can have respect for someone, but if you don't have trust, the friendship will crumble.” –Stieg Larsson (I’d never heard of him before today and I certainly would disagree with most of his beliefs but I do like the quote)

What characteristics are crucial for friendship? I can only speak for myself but in my experience honesty, trust, caring, supportiveness and loyalty are some of the main ones that are crucial for a friendship.

The last thing I want (or plan) to do here is to lecture anyone on this topic but I’ll just give a few quick comments that are just my opinions but I will say that I am extremely grateful to have many friends with the characteristics that I listed above.

Honesty/Trust

Personally, I believe that this is the foundation of any friendship. If this quality is lacking in a relationship it is (at least for me) a very good sign that (unless the trust can be restored) these friendships are not worth having. Personally, I’ve faced several of these situations over the years (including at least one recently) and while it is certainly difficult to discover that former friends aren’t trustworthy it is better to realize it as such and make the necessary adjustments than to brush over it and pretend nothing is wrong (obviously the ideal situation is if the trust can be restored but unfortunately this does not always happen). Many people say that similar beliefs/lifestyles is the key to great friendships; while there is a point to this I personally have been blessed to have many wonderful friendships with people I disagree with on many topics (this isn’t the case with the author of this blog ;)) and have many different tastes with but in which we can have wonderful friendships due to honesty/trust in each other. I hope each of you have many such friendships as well. ☺

Caring/Supportiveness:

While this is more of a trait of a person than the foundation of a friendship it is certainly great for me (and I’m sure for you as well) to be able to have many caring friends that help and support us no matter the situation or the context (but especially through the hard times). None of us are perfect at this (or any of these traits/characteristics) but for me personally (and I’m sure in your case as well) I hope we can all strive (with God’s help) to be far better.

Last but not least: Loyalty

While all 3 of the qualities I’ve addressed in this post is a 2-way street this one is quite likely an outcome of a successful friendship that includes the previous 2 characteristics. I do not at all mean that we should strive for blind loyalty (which I personally fully admit I have been guilty of (especially in my younger days) with us siding with friends while purposely ignoring errors/situations that they have been wrong in but certainly loyalty (that comes with normal friendships) is a wonderful things and is completely appropriate.

Anyway, that is all I have. I hope and pray that I have not come across in a condemning way but I just wanted to share some of my thoughts on a few characteristics of friendships. Personally, I have been (and perhaps still am) far from perfect when it comes to my friendships (and doing what I can to remain a great (while not blind) friend. This is of course an extremely broad topic but I hope some of my thoughts have been able to help some of you. May God bless you all.

Happy New Year and First Guest Post!

Wow! Here is our first guest blog post and what a perfect way to end the year, right? I hope that you all have a very, very happy and healthy New Year. God has given us His love, let's make it our resolution to give His kind of love to those around us. :-)


Matthew 7:2-5 "For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you use, it shall be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not consider the plank that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Let me pull out the speck out of your eye; and, look, a plank is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first remove the plank out of your own eye; and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of thy brother's eye."

There was a story that I heard and wrote down sometime ago when my children were smaller. I have always saved it, and from time to time a would run across it and re-read it. As my grandchildren came and visited this Christmas, the story came back to mind. 

"One day as a little girl was sitting and watching her mother doing the supper dishes at the kitchen sink, she all of a sudden noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out that contrasted her beautiful brown hair. She looked at her mother and in wonderment asked, "Mom, why are some of your hairs white?"  "Well", her mother replied, "every time that you do something wrong that makes me cry or become unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."  The little girl thought about this for a moment or so and then said, "Mom, how come all of Grandma's hairs are white?"

James 1:23-25 says "For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does."

Every time I look into the mirror that God calls me to look into, I see my imperfections, and usually look for some one or something to blame for them. The Lord warned us about the danger of pointing out the faults of others. He said that people with planks in their eyes should not attempt to remove specks out of other people's eyes. Somehow, we lose sight of this so quickly! We are all still growing. None of us has arrived! We need to be aware of how the enemy tries to ensnare us in this way. 

I don't know about you but I tend to agree with the author who said "The only person I want removing splinters out of my eyes is someone with a clear vision and a gentle touch!" Let's ask the Lord to help us to see the ways we've been judgmental and become people with clear vision and a gentle touch! We should be building up one another and encouraging each other so that the work of the Lord may go forward.  May you Be Blessed as you Follow Him in 2015!                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           ~Pastor Craig

Pastor Craig Lindgren is the pastor of First Baptist Church of Augusta, Wisconsin.

He has also worked for the Department of Corrections (DOC)

for 27 years. He is currently the Senior Chaplain of the DOC, 

and is stationed out of Stanley, WI.
He is married to Julie, his wife of 32 years. They have 5 children

and 7 grandchildren.

Pastor Craig can be reached at Pastor_Craig@Live.com or 715-827-0812.